Intentional is defined as done on purpose; deliberate. If there is one word to describe how I want to live my life, this is it. I want to love on purpose, feel on purpose, make the next move on purpose. I most certainly do not want to realize 10, 20, 40 years from now that my life felt lackluster simply because I failed to show up for it.
This might be one of my most favorite topics to talk about. Probably, because I can look back over the past 10-15 years and compare living with intention and living without. And, wow! I can see such a difference. But, how Jess? How can I possibly feel like I’m living on purpose when so much around me is out of my control? Is it possible to turn it around when so many things are going wrong? How do we live intentional lives? I get it. I’ve been there. So, let’s talk about 5 foundational truths on how to live an intentional life.
Gratitude
According to the internet, Melody Beattie said, “Gratitude turns what we have into enough”. It is impossible to be intentional with our own lives if we are focused on what we don’t have. You can’t do much with what you don’t have. Living intentionally requires you to create a life with what you have without attention to that which you lack. You will likely find yourself on the hamster wheel of discontentment and comparison without gratitude. Luckily, gratitude is the death of comparison.
Contrary, living out of gratitude is motivating and inspiring. We are far more likely to be motivated to pursue a life we are proud of when we recognize all that is at our disposal. Inspiration to serve others and live a life of compassion begins with the gratitude for our own lives. Side note: A life of compassion produces a life of meaning and purpose.
I challenge you over the next month to practice gratitude. There are hundreds of gratitude journals to purchase, grab one of those unused notebooks lying around your house, use the list feature on your phone, whatever works for you. Just start taking note of what you are thankful for. It can be as simple as your warm cup of coffee to the courage you are harnessing to try something new.
Be present with your emotion.
It’s natural to avoid the pain and lean in to the comfortable. I have found though that in order to truly live intentionally, I have to be honest with my emotions. Avoiding the uncomfortable emotions is checking out of life for a bit. And while it may serve the purpose for the current moment, the ignored pain, disappointment or frustration always has a way of creeping back in leaving a trail of undesirable consequences. I have learned that being intentional about staying present in the moment is a far better option. We learn from the disappointment, heal in the midst of pain and find incentive through the frustration.
Even the happy moments can escape us if we aren’t careful. Always wishing for the next best thing, looking ahead to the next phase in life, anticipating the next happy moment or fun adventure. All the while, the only moment we are guaranteed is right in front of us.
I talked about it in another post too but it’s okay to feel all the emotions. All the good and all the bad. Be alive. Just be mindful not to force that emotion into a part of your life it was not intended to be. But that’s a discussion for another time.
Learn from the past and move on.
Your past is important because it is a key component of who you are today. But that’s it. You don’t get a do over to fix all your mistakes. No matter how intensely we wish, we can’t go back and relive those glorious moments of our childhood or the soul shaking moment of holding our babies for the first time (that’s my soul shaking moment but feel free to insert whatever yours may be).
Our past is not an indicator of who we are. Simply, an indicator of who we were. It is not a measurement of what we are capable of. It is a history of who we WERE, what we WERE capable of, our lessons, our moments. Let your past serve its’ purpose. Leave it in the past though and move on. Let your intentionality show who you are now and what you are capable of. Be present in new soul shaking moments, learn more lessons and start creating what will one day be a past that serves an even greater purpose than the one before.
Set goals.
Just as the past serves a purpose, so does the future. While it is not guaranteed, it is surely anticipated. Here is another quote for you by Alice Walker. “Look closely at the present you are constructing; it should look like the future you are dreaming.”
Life will happen with or without your intention. But I can more than likely promise you, it won’t turn out how you’re dreaming if you don’t plan for it. Is your dream to be a doctor? That won’t just happen. Do you want to start your own business? You’re going to need a plan. Lose 10 pounds? Maintain a clean house? Be financially free? Want to see the world? Have close relationships? Whatever it is, you have to plan for it.
Be intentional about setting your goals. Short term goals for the month or the remainder of the year. 3 year goals, 5 year goals, 15 year goals.
Step 1:
Determine what future it is you are dreaming of. Take some time to reflect on what you want for your life.
Step 2:
Create a plan to make it happen.
Step 3:
Set Goals.
Step 4:
JUMP! GO FOR IT! DO IT!
Here are some amazing strategies to achieve your goals this year!
Take Responsibility.
My last point on how to live an intentional life is to take responsibility. In order to live intentionally we have to understand that our life is a product of our doing. If we feel life is just happening to us, it is because we are allowing it. Sure, things will happen that are 100% out of your control but your response to them is 100% within your control. And our response determines the level of success or damage. If someone gives me the opportunity of a life time, it is my response to that event that makes the difference not the opportunity itself. I can be intentional, seize the moment, do the work or I can assume the work is done for me and be lackluster. I guarantee with the same exact opportunity, the outcome will be drastically different.
Taking responsibility also involves understanding what is NOT your responsibility. It is not my responsibility to ensure the happiness or the success of my loved ones. It is not my responsibility to make sure others are kind to me, make the right decisions, or do right by me. MY responsibility is to be kind to others, to make the right decisions and to do right by others.
See the difference?
I am responsible for the life I am creating. I am in charge of how I respond to life. Most certainly, I am in charge of my mind, my actions, my words, my efforts. It can be unnerving to assume this responsibility but it is ours whether we use it to our advantage or not.
I leave you with the challenge to be intentional. Live life on purpose. Be intentional with your gratitude, your past, your future, your emotions, your responsibility. I created Joyful with Purpose as a response to the desire to live intentionally. I want to be intentional with avoiding the trap to just wish, hope or dream and instead to actually do. Truthfully, I hope to create a community here of people that long for a life full of intention, meaning and joyful purpose.
How will you be intentional today, this week or this year?
Emily says
This article hit it right on! I am 59 years old. I recognize that my life has been, in many aspects, a life that is just happening to me. What an awesome thought! I have a blog I started a few weeks ago in which I am on a journey of piecing my life together as a jigsaw puzzle. I like the way you describe how our past shows who were and what we have learned, BUT not who we are now – to live the present moment using our knowledge to improve our future. I have been stuck these days. I know what I should do, but I am stuck because I want to do so many things! (write, paint, read, earn income…)I find myself gathering everything I will need to do it, then, BOOM! I screech to a halt. And then the guilt sets in! I start again and I do it for a few days. But halt again. Your email indicating me to read this article came at a critical moment. I will download your guide to jump start my life of intentions to actions. Thank you for sharing your life with us, with me. You are heaven sent! BTW, my blog is This Life’s a Puzzle! Maybe you can share your opinion with me. Maybe I’m going wrong with the perspective I am giving to my blog. Again! Thanks !
Jessica Winkler says
Emily, I am encouraged that you found this helpful. I too find myself at times screeching to a halt. I have been pondering the idea that this is most often due to the “pain” of change and growth. Personal, professional, emotional even creative growth is often uncomfortable at first and I’m learning to resist the urge to freeze in those moments but instead keep moving forward. In the movie Frozen 2 (mom of young girls over here), Ana sings about “doing the next right thing”. So often we allow ourselves to become overwhelmed with all of the options or possibilities when sometimes we just need to pick one right thing and go for it. I think this is why the practice I share in my guide is so helpful for me. It allows me to intentionally set the framework for the life I want to create and then refer back when making those daily or big decisions along the way. Does this align? Does this fit the “big picture” idea I’m after? The most important thing is to keep moving forward which it sounds like you are doing. Maybe your write, paint, read can serve two purposes somehow – a creative outlet that brings joy and earns an income?? Please send me an email to Jessica@joyfulwithpurpose.com with your blog link. I’ll be happy to look it over and share my thoughts. Have a wonderful Saturday!!