I stood in the bathroom listening to the chatter from my living room. It was supposed to be the happiest time of my life and while I was immensely grateful for this new bundle of joy, I was anything but happy. I remember telling my husband, something is off. I don’t feel how I am supposed to feel.
STOP. RIGHT. THERE.
Supposed to feel? This idea that we are “supposed to feel” a particular way during specific seasons in our life is quite frankly setting ourselves up for disaster. Rather than being present in the fleeting moments, we are distracted by our emotional expectations. Emotions and feelings are simply what they are. They come and go in our life sometimes resembling our current circumstance and other times not. But they are neither right nor wrong. They just are.
Our reactions to these emotions, however, can be right or wrong, helpful or destructive and maybe even indifferent. I learned this lesson the hard way so to speak but found it invaluable as I journey through each phase in life. Furthermore, I became aware that we are doing ourselves a significant disservice when we attempt to escape or silence the more challenging emotions. Accept them. Feel them deeply. Determine your reaction. Walk it out.
While I whole heartedly believe that all emotions play a pivotal role in our growth and development as human beings, let’s focus on just one for now. Happy.
After spending months that felt like years trudging through the trials of depression, I found myself craving happy. There was still joy found in the love of my family, the giggles of my baby girl and a God who is steadfast and good. But happy was elusive. While wasting time searching I learned from a very wise woman that happy is actually created not found.
This changes everything.
It takes a quick scroll on social media to learn that many are overwhelmed, hurting, tired and searching for happy. It’s evident in our conversations with one another.
Today, I’m happy.
I shared in another post, “I learned it was not the grandiose gestures or a big aha moment that I learned to be happy again. It was intertwined with the most simple acts…There it was right in front of me amidst all the little things once deemed too simple to really matter.”
Those simple acts I like to call “happy habits”. Rather than continuing to search for happiness, how about create it? If you’re searching for your happy, try adding these 5 happy habits for your everyday routine instead.
5 Happy Habits for your Everyday Routine
Let go of perfection.
Perfection is a lie. Perfectionism is an obstacle to truly living. Striving for perfection means feeling inadequate, avoiding vulnerability thus connection, inviting shame and eliminating progress.
A few quotes to keep in mind as your practice letting go of perfection:
“Aim for progress, not perfection.” – Norm Kelly
“Start doing things your perfectionism prevented you from doing before & do them imperfectly. You can do it.” -@ditchperfect
Practice Gratitude.
Journal it. Speak it. Think it. What are you grateful for today?
A Daily Smile.
I practiced this religiously for a year. Think small. Your goal is to add one thing every day that you truly enjoy. Just one a day. Here are a few ideas:
A funny movie
Your favorite meal
Coffee with a friend
A walk outside
Sleeping in
Waking up before everyone in your home
Fresh flowers
Exercise class
Your favorite dessert
Plan a trip
Buy the outfit!
Turn your phone off for the day
Buy a present for someone else
Bubble bath
Plan your week.
If you are in a season of overwhelm, last minute decisions are not your friend. Choose a day and time where you will plan the next 7 days. What does the ideal day/week look like? What are your obligations? When will you fit in your daily smile? What time are you going to bed and waking up? Can you squeeze in 15 minutes to get outside? Find routines and rhythms that serve you.
Be present.
Let go of everything else and focus on the moment you are in. At work? Get after that to do list. Home? Focus on your family and the routines and rhythms that you have set in place. Talking to a friend? Stop thinking about what’s for dinner and give her your undivided attention. Being present brings freedom. Freedom from the past or future and allows us to just be.
What are the “happy habits” that you rely on? Maybe you don’t even realize you have them? Our habits create our life. Understanding and practicing the habits that create the life we are after will be our future. Do you practice any of these 5 happy habits for your everyday routine?
If all of this feels too overwhelming for you, I encourage you to seek out professional counseling to help you get started.
We chat about more about living intentionally, creating happiness living joyfully, home decor, motherhood and just life over on Instagram. Hope to see you there!
Jess
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